Being a Mother

This morning, as I sat at work with not a lot to do at that moment, I came across this old email. I sent it a little over 3 years ago. Caleb had just joined the Army. Colt and I had moved back to Houston to live with Mom and Dad...for what we thought would be 6 months or so!! ;) I had been working full time for a month, and Colton was staying with Dianne...this was the first time we had done the whole "daycare" thing. I hope you enjoy this email. I feel like I have grown so much since then...and so much has happened. The email makes me smile. It kind of makes me sad to think that I was having to be that...a responsible Mother...at such a young age. But, it makes me happy...because I did a good job...and I still am. And I still love it! Colton is such a joy, and has grown so much...it amazes me. Ok, enough of that...I don't want to start crying! Enjoy!!


Subject: Being a Mother!
Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004

Well, today is probably the first time that I felt like a real "Mom". You know, the kind that juggles her schedule to fit everything in. The one who is organized with her planner in hand. The one that has everything she needs either in her wallet, purse or diaper bag. I'm sure you are wondering why today is any different than any other day. Well, let me tell you.

As you all know we live in Houston now, with my parents. Well, I needed to schedule Colton a doctor's appointment to get up to date on his shots. And it is a new doctor. So, I schedule one yesterday, for today. The appointment was @ 9:00, so I told my boss that I wouldn't be in until about 10:30...I should've said later, but oh well. So, I had Colton at the clinic by 8:30. Well, it took an extremely long time, but everything went fine. We left the clinic by 11:15. Colton did great on his check up. He doesn't weigh "well over 30 pounds" like I have been telling everyone. He weighs 27 lbs, 13 oz. And he is 30 inches tall. He is such a sweet boy. He fell asleep while we were waiting for the nurse to give the shots. So, she gave the first shot, and he just flinched, didn't wake up or nothing. The second shot has a bit of a sting, so that woke him up. He cried for a minute or so, and then fell back asleep. I was so proud of him. He got two stickers. One of Nemo and one of Dorry (sp). If he had been awake, he would've liked them for sure!!! So, we left and I took him to "Ms. Diane's School". (she is the lady that watches him at her home, we like to tell him that he is going to school) I drop him off...he is behaving so well, I don't want to leave him. But, I must get to work. I am a working mother, now. I walk into work at 12:00...an hour and a half after I said I would be back...and breathe a sigh of relief that all of that is now taken care of and Colton is happy and healthy.

I'm sure you are wondering why that makes me feel like a "real mom". I guess now that I am working and I drop him off at the babysitter every morning, I feel older and more mature...whether I am or not, doesn't really matter. I now have the daily planner that I have only seen working mothers with. I have all of our insurance cards and social security cards in my wallet. I have Colton's doctor's number in my planner as well as in my cell phone. All of this makes me feel so responsible. Having a child really changes your life. It's not just you anymore. Having a child brings so much more into your life, you realize things and notice things that didn't seem to be there. Things that other 21 year olds that aren't married and don't have kids never thought about. This makes me smile.

I guess I just love being a mother. I can't wait to make school lunches. I can't wait to help with homework. I can't wait to be the team mom, whether football, baseball, or soccer. I know that God made me especially for this "role". And I know that I will do a good job. My child might not always appreciate everything that I do or will do for him, but what child does.

I know that in a few years, I will really be juggling my schedule to fit in all of the sports practices and games, the ballet lessons, and everything else. And this doctor's appointment will feel like nothing. But, for now I will allow it to make me feel responsible. I know that some of you will relate to this, but some of you won't. Some of you have this to look forward to. Well, when it comes, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do...even when both you and your child are sick and getting on eathother's last nerves. I hope I will always love every minute of it.

Ok, that's it for now. My computer at home is getting fixed, so I can't send pictures right now. But, I will ASAP. I hope you all are doing great. I hope to see you soon.

Love,
Deborah

AKA "The Real Mom"